Picking up the phone and calling potential supporters has to be one of the most nerve-wracking, scary things I've ever done! So many fears and questions race through my mind and straight to my heart before I make a call. I began to wonder what people will think of me, my decision to do missions, and my considering them as potential supporters. My first thoughts before I call are that people think negatively of these things and really just wish I would leave them and their peaceful evening alone.
This way of thinking is the devil's attempt to paralyze me and to stop me from calling. The devil doesn't want me in London He'd rather I spend my life in the safety and security of my comfort zone and he'll use every lie in hell to keep me there. These lies are very subtle excuses which sound so good and innocent but in the end are false and deadly.
When it comes time to make some calls, I start thinking things like It's better not to call or I probably shouldn't call at all because why would they want to support me? They probably support other ministries and I'm just a 23 year old college graduate with little mission experience. They'll probably think I'm just a mooch, out to get their money and not really genuine about missions. I mean come on, London? Who wouldn't want to live there for a few years right out of school. These are just a few of the subtle lies and questions from hell that I have to fight just to pick up the phone.
So how do I fight these paralyzing fiery darts? One word: Gospel. Before every call, I have to preach the Gospel to myself. In Christ and his righteousness, I am perfectly accepted and adopted as God's child. When the Father looks on me, he sees his perfect, beloved Son who died for me and provided a righteousness I could never attain. This is the identity I have in the gospel. In this identity, my Father's sovereign grace works all things for my good. Satan wants me to believe that I'm an orphan who has no loving Father and in that belief, doubts and fears are bound to rise. But finding my identity in Christ enables me to pick up the phone and trust that whatever the response is, it is straight from a loving Father's hand. What freedom that truth gives me!
This is his work, not mine, and I'm excited to exit my comfort zone and enter a work which requires me to preach the gospel to myself day after day and call after call. My faith is being stretched in new ways and who knows, maybe I'll enjoy making these phone calls someday!